As I sit here trying to keep up my motivation to continue writing, I m overwhelmed by the lack of everything I am surrounded with. The confusing thing is everything I am surrounded by is beautiful and flourishing. The land, the trees, the animals, this is so very close to exactly what I was aiming for when we decided to come here. I can see it, smell it, taste it feel it, every morning when I wake up and every night as I fall asleep. Its here I’m in it, I live here. So why do I feel so blah…..? It’s the word of the day: Flourish. In my goals and dreams and all things considered in moving our animals to this island, I saw us flourishing, living a glorious life in the sun, a great mixture of modern life with old school values, organic foods that we grow ourselves, children who understand the value of hard work, a dollar, makers, but who also have the world at there finger tips with endless opportunities and possibilities for the future that awaits them. As much as I remind myself that we are only a month and a half in and have made great progress, some days the visions of my family flourishing become more overwhelming than inspirational. Today I have been stalling entering my daily post even though I really liked the word choice today. So as I examined and thought through what u would write I discovered, at this point in the journey and on days like these, it really does come down to not letting go. I am allowing to much energy to stay behind in things that have already changed. Life has moved forward and I am still looking he wrong way. It’s again time to turnaround, and adjust my focus. We will flourish.
I love, love ,love to write. It has always been my go to stress reliever, just get it off my chest and leave it in the past. Some times literally like when I leave old journals in old apartments or throwing them away and one time burning a particularly painful collection of journal entries. Then I made the step into a few blog posts about the subject I knew the most, Yoga. Those turned out well and I as very encouraged so I wrote a few. Then I stopped. I let life get in the way and I lost my balance, my release, my leave it in the past method, and life became heavy. Now I just want to share, release, learn and write about life, experiences, love health, family, choices, whatever strikes me. I want to take challenges, put myself out there and charge and a positive lightweight future like a bull!!! I want to be me and write about it. Hopefully others will enjoy, learn and grow with me.
We recently relocated our family for a new life and better opportunities. Everything is great and we all like it here. The weather is amazing, we are close to beaches, the town center, the library, and all of the things I thought would make finding mommy groups and friends for the family through community family functions a breeze. I was wrong. I didn’t at all take into consideration the cultural differences that make this community difficult to break into.
I really had in my head that the youngest of our tribe, who is not yet in school, would have the easiest time transitioning. He doesn’t have to deal with a new school, as school in general will be new to him soon. He doesn’t have to get used to a new schedule, he doesn’t have that much change in routine and he is still always with momma. It turns out, the way that his transition is similar to mine is the most heartbreaking and it has totally caught me off guard. Going to the beach, playground, library, and other kids activities is not making him quick buddies, no one is used to him and he is not used to anyone else. I don’t yet have our mommy group established so we are alone. No buddies for either one of us and I realized the hard way that he is as lonely as am I. It certainly is not the end of the world or something unfixable, it will just take more time, more effort, and more planning than it did last time.
In our old city it was so easy to find my group, to go mommy stalking and build our tribe. It all seemed to just fall into my lap and I took it for granted. Now is different and that’s OK. We will find our group and we will find our special buddies. If that’s the biggest of our problems right now…… I will take it. Challenge accepted!